Friday, March 25, 2011

You know the what... now the WHY.

Back in 2009, I was super excited about the new Star Trek movie coming out. It came out around my 24th Birthday and it was a celebration of epic proportions for us (we don't really party). We invited some folks over just to hang out and play Rock Band and eat with Star Trek 2-4 playing in the background while we talked and hung out. My husband who knew me so much (even what I had been hiding for years) he got me the best birthday cake ever, it had a Star Trek theme and the Enterprise on it and said "Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor not a cake decorator". He even went out and got some of the new Trek action figures and stuck them on the cake. When he brought it out with the candles and let me see it I was just giggling and happy. My friends at the time didn't get it, in any way shape or form.
They didn't understand how a woman could be so super excited about Star Trek, they were excited for *insert whatever romantic comedy was coming out at the time* and what ever movie would get their kids out of the house for a few hours. They tried to explain it by saying I was just excited because my husband was excited, when in reality it was quite the opposite. He was excited because I was, and I think he might have known that it would wake me up.

At that moment I realized, something. I had been lying about who I really am, not just to others, but also to myself. After seeing the new movie, and LITERALLY crying when Leonard Nimoy appeared on screen, and crying harder when he read the classic "to boldly go" at the end of the movie. I knew it was time to stop being afraid of what people think, I needed to be more concerned about the things that bring me joy. It has been a slow journey for me, but I am getting there.

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